Harry Potter and the book of Doom
by xxxsithfanxxx
Summary: A simultaneously less serious and violent take on the "Harem" sub-genre. WARNING: The Author isn't very good at, well, writing...
1. Chapter 1

Over the course of his life, Harry Potter had been many things. FELT many things. Happiness. Sorrow. Love. Loss. Jealousy. However, before this point, Harry had never know good, old fashioned HATRED.

The small, up stairs room of Number 4, Private Drive was covered in the strewn about artifacts that belonged to it's current occupant. Said occupant, one Harry James Potter, was angrily pacing up and down, bitter tears of anger and betrayal falling freely.

Mere days before, Shortly after the battle at the Ministry, Albus Dumbledore had taken Harry back to his Office to "explain" all the strange and troubling things that had happened over the young mans life. Yes, young MANS. Harry reflected that the only truth the old coot had told him was that a Wizard legally became an adult at the age of 15.

Also, there was the whole bit about "Wizarding society being almost entirely dominated by Witches and he would be very lucky to get a job as the figurehead of a libary", but Harry hadn't payed much attention to that.

Before he had left the Headmasters Office, Harry had noticed a book sitting on his desk clearly marked "_The Personal Journal of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Dumbledore, 1980-1998". _Unable to help himself, Harry had taken the book. Oh how he wished he hadn't.

It would have been so nice to continue his existence in ignorant bliss. But the secrets reviled in Dumbledore's Journal were just to far reaching. And far, FAR to dark. It began with Harry's childhood: The Dursleys may not have ever laid a hand on Harry and he wouldn't describe them as abusive, but he would never call them loving either.

So the revel that Dumbledore had not only placed him there, but had also repeatedly turned down offers from other Wizarding and even Muggle family's to adopt him, as well as regularly stopping by just to watch his Cousin beat him up, cut deeper than even Sirius Black's death. And it just got worse from there.

From sending Sirius to Azkaban without a trial, to stealing money from his Vault, to manipulating Ron and Hermione to spy on Harry, to using Voldemort himself as a pawn, to Covering up the death and execution of countless Muggles, to spending his nights jacking off to a sleeping Ginny to stealing his Milk Money, Dumbledore had spent the last fifteen years ruining Harry's life.

However, as the last few vestiges of sorrow over his betrayal by the Headmaster was replaced with complete and utter rage, Harry made a pledge. To never, EVER be Dumbledore's pawn again.

At the same time, thousands of miles away, Headmaster Dumbledore returned to his Office after a long day of Horcrux hunting, fully preparing to spend rest of the evening relaxing, eating some Lemon Drops and reading that fascinating book.

He had found it while looking for Voldemort's ring Horcrux (Which he was sure to find any day now, thank you very much) and instantly taken a liking to it. It was a marvelous little thing that liked to display ridiculous stories in and around Hogwarts: From depicting a relationship between Hermione and Snape to showing a nudist movement taking over the castle, the Headmaster loved reading the ever changing and weirder stories.

However, only after reclining in his chair and devouring a few Lemon Drops did Albus realize something terrible: the book was gone! At first, he wasn't worried: Anyone with sense would quickly be able to dismiss the stories within as pure fantasy. He was more concerned with the embarrassment that he would be subject to if anyone found, for example, the many Dumbledore/Dobby slash fics.

However, it was at that moment that he remembered who the last person to be in this room apart from himself was. And that that person had a habit of being far to curious. And had recently been possessed by Voldemort. And had a Horcrux in his head. And had just been told he would be treated like a second class citizen for rest of his life. And had just lost the closest thing he had to a Father. And that the book had been stuck on a false "Journal" of Albus for weeks now. And that Albus was late for a date.

And that...oh. Sh*t.


	2. Chapter 2

Cho Chang was very nervous. Half way through enjoying her break from school, she had been contacted by her one time boyfriend, Harry Potter. The young man had kindly explained that he was deeply sorry for ruining there relationship and kindly invited her to come visit him at his home.

This, as it turned out, meant his Godfathers old home, as...something had happened to the Muggle family Harry used to live with, which Harry apparently did not want to explain. For three days, Cho had lived at the house, with no one but Harry, an old House Elf and occasionally other visiting members of the D.A for company.

Since the two of them still had issues to work out, Cho and Harry did little but talk for three days. After they worked out there personal problems, Cho finally had to ask as to what happened to Harry, as he was acting much...darker than before.

His response was to break down and give her Dumbledore's journal. Although she refused to believe it at first, Cho eventually had to come to agree with Harry: his life had been a lie and Dumbledore himself might be worse than even Voldemort.

This new found sympathy, as well as the knowledge that Dumbledore knew where she lived and that she was a Allie of Harry's, caused Cho to say with Harry and get closer to him, although she was still unwilling to fully commit to him. The day before however, Harry had asked her to accompany him to the reading of Sirius Black's will.

After some debate, Cho had decided he would need her support and thus, she was now walking side by side with Harry and Ron Weasley as they made there way towards Gringotts. Why was the young, pretty, athletic, smart woman nervous? Because Harry and Ron were being...less than friendly.

Harry was upset that Ron would not believe Harry about Dumbledore's true nature. Ron was upset at Harry because he had refused to spend the summer at the Burrow. Both were mad at each other for eating the last sandwich. Cho was nervous because SHE had eaten the last sandwich.

Finally, the tall, white marble bank came into view and Cho breathed a sigh of relief as the two men finally stopped bickering. It would be nice to get this over with and put an end to this extremely weird and uncomfortable day.

Albus Dumbledore let out a deep sigh. This was NOT good. In light of Harry getting a hold of..the book (Albus did not know if he wanted to call it the "Book of Doom" or the "Book of stupid fanfiction") he and the other teachers had rushed to Number 4 Private Job to stop the distraught Harry from doing anything drastic.

Professor Sprout had arrived first and gone in to talk to him. Seconds later, the other had arrived in time to see the house explode. At first, Albus fought Sprout REALLY didn't know how to work doorbells. However, as the all magical investigation continued (The teachers had managed to cast a "time bubble" around the house, keeping the Muggles uninvolved) it became increasingly apparent that magic had been the cause of the climatic explosion.

While Snape had recovered what was left of Sprout (Her hat, which Snape had promptly claimed as his own) and looked for clues in the rubble, Minerva had gone to investigate the rumors of Harry's stay in Sirius's old house (Albus had found himself blocked from entering by the owner, which wasn't all that surprising).

Now, both teachers had returned at the same time with important news. Minerva had discovered that Harry had indeed been staying at the Black rendezvous, along with his girlfriend Cho Chang. Snape had returned with two salvaged books: Not only had he found the Book of Doom (still disguised as Albus's journal) but he had also found an even older novel: _Magic harem bonding's and how they work. _

At first, Albus was at a complete lose as to why Harry HAD that book. Then, he remembered his apparent tendency to steal books and the wide variety of Dark Magic books at the House of Black. However, THAT reminded Albus that one: Harry had spent about a week with a girl he had a strong attraction to, with full knowledge on how to create magic "Bonds" and two: Harry was likely to go to Sirius's will reading today. The will he wrote in Azkaban.

Albus jumped to his feet and yelled at Snape and Minerva, who had been patiently waiting for the Headmaster to do something, "Snape! Minerva! Harry knows an ancient ritual that will turn any woman he has sex with into his slave, he is about to listen to the will of an entirely insane Sirius, he probably blew up his adopted family and I really hate cheap exposition!". They starred at him. "We need to go stop him! Now!".


	3. Chapter 3

'Well, that was interesting' Cho thought to herself as she and Harry slowly made there way back through Diagon Ally. The reading of Sirius Black's will had been both sad and oddly funny. On the one hand, seeing the normally composed and even darkly serious Harry forced to listen to his Godfathers final Will and testament, not to mention the fact that he was now a forced "Mate" to one Nymphadora Tonks.

On the other, the fact that Harry now owned an Island in middle of the Ocean and first edition _Avengers 1#._ The one upside from all of this was that this had lead to a reconciliation between Ron and Harry before Ron left for home.

Now Cho and Harry walked on in silence, both dwelling on the events of the day. Neither particularly liked where things were going, but both were determined to meet it when it came. Cho was going back to her own house and life but promised to remain Harry's ally, while Harry himself was thinking of a much darker way of protecting himself.

But for now, they were just two friends walking side by side. Or maybe not. This IS a Harem fic after all. They eventually made it back to Black Manor, although night had fallen by now. The two friends went inside and made there way upstairs.

Cho bid Harry goodnight and expected him to go to his own room, but when she turned around he was standing right behind her, nervously. "Yes?" she asked the young man. He remained silent for a minute then, in one fluid motion, stepped forwards, grabbed the back of Cho's head and pulled her into a kiss.

There lips embraced while Cho was to shocked to respond, but once she regained her senses she fully embraced it. They seemed to melt together as there tongues resulted and they took the time to breath in each others scents. Cho remembered Harry describing there first kiss as "wet" but that was because she had been crying beforehand: This kiss also fit the definition, but for a different reason.

The two young (By wizarding standards) adults finally parted and starred into each others eyes. "Can we screw?" Harry whispered. Cho smiled. "Yes Harry. We can screw."

…**...**

Cho awoke the next morning feeling oddly refreshed. After a round of "Fun" Harry had gone to his room and both had gotten some sleep. Cho yawned loudly before taking a quick shower, throwing on some clothes and heading downstairs.

Cho was going home today, but she could still spend a final breakfast with Harry. As always, the young Lord Black was already up and cooking the meal: Bacon & Pasta. However, when Harry saw Cho his smile quickly left his face. He instructed his House Elf to take over cooking and sat down across from Cho.

"After last night, I thought you would be in a better mod" she commented, raising an eyebrow at him. Harry blushed. "Cho, last night was great but I think there's something you should know." Cho gestured for him to continue. Harry took a deep breath before declaring in a surprisingly stern voice "Cho, take off your shirt."

Now, if the young Lord Black had asked, Cho probably would have gladly shown him (If last night was any indication, there relationship was being rekindled) but she was not about to take orders from him, regardless of how cute he was.

This is why it came as an immense surprise for Cho when her arms involuntarily reach down, grabbed the ends of her shirt and pulled it up over her head, leaving only her simple white bra covering her bountiful orbs.

However, something else caught the former Seeker's eye, something she apparently missed while showering: In the valley between her breasts was what looked like a branded 'B'. Cho looked to Harry for an answer, and in response he handed her a copy of '_Magical sex bonds for dummies'. _

Cho quickly picked it up and became engrossed in it enough that she did not notice until she put it down hours later how long she had been reading it (It was very well paced). After shaking Harry awake from a boredom induced nap, Cho immediately had a question for him.

"So I'm your slave now?" Harry shook his head. "Technically, I have the authority to do so, but I would never do as such. I Love you far to much for that" He smiled as he said the last word, reassuring Cho somewhat. "But I still have to do what you say and follow you wherever you go don't I?".

Harry again shook his head in response. "Only if I command you, which I will try my hardest to avoid. Believe me Cho, I have no desire to use you as a slave, or anything but a wife. Or a f*ckbuddy, whichever." Cho was still less than pleased, but she sighed in resignation.

"I guess this is for the best: Dumbledore knows where I currently live. Still, if we ever find a way to remove this strangely specific and conveniently powerful and obscure bond, I'll take it". Harry nodded in agreement. Silence fell for a few minutes, before Cho asked the question on both there minds.

"What do we do now?". Harry thought a second before responding. "Well, we need a new home now that good ol' Albus is aware of both are places of residence. I think that Island I inherited will do nicely." Cho couldn't think of a better option than a never seen or heard of before Island in the Atlantic.

"Oh, we also need to take Ron with us, I think he's finally coming around, and to start my Harem." Cho had a double take, prompting Harry to explain. "The only real advantage I have over Dumbledore is my knowledge of this magic Bond. It's not much, but if I can turn at least some of his future supporters into MY slaves instead of his, well, every bit helps. Plus, currently I am a slave to TONKS..." "And she will probably take advantage of that." Cho finished for him. Harry nodded.

"So at the very least, she will be added. Cho, if you have a problem with this, tell me now and I will think of something else". Cho (Just now remembering she was still wearing nothing for a top but her bra) just shrugged. "Honestly, all the witches I know are also kind of B*itches. As long as I'm allowed to use them..." Harry smiled.

"Sure! Girl on girl is hot".

…**...**

Albus Bob Dumbledore face palmed. "Let me see if I've got this straight" he slowly said to the smiling Goblin seated at the desk across from him. "You let a young man that has only BEEN a young man for a few weeks, who has severe emotional and mental problems, come strolling in here and read the will of his recently deceased Godfather? The will that said Godfather wrote will in AZKABAN?"

The Goblin smiled. "Of course!". Albus just starred at him. "please tell me you at least informed him it wasn't legally binding?" the Headmaster practically begged. The Goblin laughed heartily. "Of course we didn't! That's called customer service!".

"THAT" Albus muttered under his breath as he exited Gringots. "Is called "Why the Goblins aren't allowed to vote". "Did you say something Albus?" Minerva asked as she Apparated next to the Headmaster, almost giving him a heartattack.

"No, Minerva, I did not say anything, especially to those...lemon drops". Minerva remained silent. She had learned a long time ago not to question Albus's euphemisms. Instead, she asked another question. "Were you able to do any good?". Albus sadly shook his head.

"Alas, I was to late. I KNEW we shouldn't have stopped for burgers". At this moment, Snape materialized next to his fellow Order members. "News Snape?" Albus asked. "Bad I'm afraid. Tonks has been informed of the Will and her supposed ownership of the young lad Harry".

Albus and Minerva sighed. Albus because the situation was quickly getting out of hand. Minerva because she had just proposed marriage to Professor Binns. Albus finally decided it was time to put an end to all of this nonsense. "Snape!" he barked.

"Yes Headmaster?" replied Snape as he traded Sprout's old hat for a passerby's Fez. "Get me the Weasleys".


	4. Chapter 4

Molly Weasley was confused. She had gone about her business as normal, cooking and cleaning in preparation for lunch at the Burrow, when Albus, Minerva and Snape had shown up at her doorstep, asking if they could come in and see both Ron and Ginny. The Headmaster became visibly upset when Molly informed him that Ron had left with Harry earlier that morning, 'On a field trip' they had said.

After Albus explained the current situation, the Weasley Matriarch desperately wished she had stopped her son and Harry. Things were not looking good: Harry had apparently began open rebellion, learned to use Magical Bonds and if Ron was still with him and working with him...Molly did not like to think what could happen. However, there were steps they could take to head the crisis off before it properly began.

Molly lead the three Hogwarts teachers to the back porch of the Burrow (Thwarting Snape's attempt to replace his Fez with Arthur's night cap in the process) where they could watch the activity going on in the background. Bill and Charlie, briefly home from there respective jobs, were working in conjuncture with a broom mounted Fred and George to attack a single figure. That figure was a short, blindfolded and red haired girl who was effortlessly evading there attacks and responding in kind. Percy was already down for the count.

"She's the first female Weasley not by marriage in decades" Molly whispered to the teachers as they watched the proceedings. "Do you really think she can help?" the worried mother asked. Albus smiled and nodded as Ginny sent George spiraling off his broom and into Charlie with a flick of her wand. "Molly, if you are willing to let your daughter, she might be able to save us all".

…**..**

Exactly twenty miles off the cost of Scotland, a small island, isolated for years, floated peacefully, still and silent. Its sole inhabitant and guardian, who had lived there since time immemorial, did not mind the isolation in the least bit: The proud track of land had gone from the home of mighty kingdoms to collateral in card games. It was best that they were the only one with the opportunity to appreciate it's beauty. The Island was mostly flat, with only slopping hills breaking the landscape.

Most of the ten square mile Island was covered with a deep forest, one of the most bountiful and enchanted ones in the entire magical World. However, the major point of attraction laid in the small clearing on the western beach. There stood 'The ancient house of Herpo the Foul & Harpo Marx': a (comparatively) small two story mansion, painted in brilliant white and gold. Marble statues and pillars surrounded the building, while a paved in silver path lead down to a small harbor on the nearby beech. There were no pools or fountains, as the Ocean itself was well within walking distance. Waist high stone walls were scattered here and there around the building.

Despite it's outward appearance, the structure had been there since ancient time, preserved through the years by powerful magic. The guardian never entered the proud building, as they were not it's owner, merely it's protector, until it's Master would return. For now, the Island would remain silent and peaceful, hidden away from the rest of the world. For two more minutes that is.

…**..**

With a loud rack, Lord Harry Potter/Black, Lady Cho Potter and Ronald appeared on the Islands largest dock. All three wore simple black robes over there plain Muggle clothes, as they looked around at there surroundings. "And to think" Ron said, as the three spotted the Mansion and made there way towards it. "Your Godfather won this in a game of Crazy Eights". Suddenly there conversation was cut off when a figure leaped from behind a conveniently placed builder and landed directly in front of the trio, drawing a sword and pointing it directly at Ron's neck.

The figure turned out to be a woman, and a extremely beautiful one at that. Her body was long and lean, obviously the physique of a warrior. Her skin and muscles were toned to near perfection, while her long, slender legs drew particular attention. She had long black hair that cascaded down her back, while piercing blue eyes glared at the trio. Her face was set, if ready for action at the very next moment, although this failed to hide her natural beauty. Her stunning appearance was help by her attire: A golden Tiara, silver bracelets and one piece red top, blue panties and golden eagle breastplates.

She had big Boobs.

"How DARE you intrude on the sacred ground of my Masters?" she snarled at them. Before she could take any drastic (Read: Lethal) action, Harry stepped forwards and put himself between the woman and Ron. "M'lady, I am Lord Harry James Black Potter, here to take ownership of this Island as per my inheritance from my Godfather. I assume I have you to thank for the stellar condition of my holdings?". The woman pursed her lips, but put away her sword.

"I am. As this proud Islands protector for Centuries, I can 'see' that you are indeed it's rightful master. I assume these two beings are your friend and Master?". Harry was about to correct her, when he remembered that, legally, it was Cho that had the leadership role in there relationship. "Indeed. May I, as the humble new steward of your home, Inquire as to your title fair maiden?". The woman starred at him. "What's your name, babe" Ron pipped up.

The woman nodded before replying "My name is Diana Prince, my Lords and Lady. May I show you to the Mansion?" Harry nodded and the trio began following there new friend up to the ancient building, before Harry let lose a powerful groan. He collapsed to his knees as Cho hurried to his side. "Harry, whats wrong". The young man groaned in response. "Tonks is calling me. Normally I would have to obey, just like have to me, but the Island is blocking the single, making me sick instead".

Diana nodded. "The Island's defense is powerful indeed". Cho and Ron helped Harry to his feet. "Get me inside" Harry groaned. "If we can take the defenses down, we can get Tonks here, I can have sex with her and then she will be bonded to me, not the other way around". The others nodded and picked up the pace, rushing Harry into the building.

…**..**

The Mansion was almost as beautiful as the Island and it's Guardian. The bottom floor contained a huge kitchen ran by a dozen House Elfs (Or would have been, if they hadn't all died of lead poisoning years ago), a large dining room, positively huge living room, servant quarters and entrance to the ancient dungeons that stretchered for miles under the building. The top floor contained a grand Master Bedroom, the only bathrooms in the house and a Library to rival the one at Hogwarts, containing such legendary works as _The Cat in the Hat does Crack. _

Unfortunately, Harry did not have time for any of this. He lay on the side of the four poster bed in the Master Bedroom, panting heavily and trying to regain his strength. After he had been practically carried inside, Harry had to wait in extreme pain as the other searched for a way to turn the defenses of the Island off. After they had located it (It turned out to be the same thing as the kitchen light switch) he had been left in his room while Cho departed to Tonks location in order to convince her to come visit the Island and Harry.

While that was going on, Diana had entered the Master Bedroom and made an unexpected request: the proud warrior woman wished to remain as guardian of the Island, the only way she would be able to do this would be to bond with the Islands master. In short, she wanted Harry to f*ck her brains out. However, as much as he would love to, Harry had to save himself for Tonks so that he would have enough energy. Thus, Harry sadly (very VERY sadly) had to turn down her offer.

Unexpectedly, Ron had stepped in at this point and offered himself as a replacement, as if Diana was bonded to him she could remain guarding the Island (And Harry had offered him his own group of bonded slaves). Although disappointed (Not to mention less than impressed with Ron) Diana had agreed. As such, Harry was currently trying to ignore the vigorous sounds of love making from the servant quarters below.

At that moment, his thoughts were interrupted when, with a loud crack, Nymphadora Tonks appeared right in front of him. Tonks looked exactly as Harry remembered her, complete with bubblegum pink hair and dark red trench coat. Harry loved that hair. Tonks turned to look around and, upon seeing Harry, broke into a toothy grin. "There you are Harry!". Harry returned the smile earnestly. He wasn't fond of the idea of being a sex toy, but he hadn't forgot that Tonks was an extremely hot young lady, if not to the extent of Diana or Cho.

At this point, Tonks shrugged off her coat and pulled open her shirt, reviling that she had decided to go sans underwear. "Well Harry, as much as I hate to say this, I believe you are aware of your situation" Harry nodded. "Well, as much as I feel sorry for you, I want to have sex and, thanks to your own loud mouth, I know you aren't adverse to my body". Harry blushed. "So just one more thing, then we can get started".

Tonks flicked her wand at Harry, causing his clothes fly to the ground in a single heap, while she herself undid her pants and allowed them to fall to the floor. As Harry got a full view of her shaved pussy, Tonks screwed up her face in concentration. Harry's eyes were drawn up from her nether regions by the sight of Tonk's breasts growing to DD cup size. He had forgotten she could do that. Tonks felt up her own chest, smiled, then tossed away her wand and tackled Harry. This was going to be fun.


	5. Chapter 5

Sunrise the next morning, Harry woke with a great yawn. Looking around the gracefully decorated Master bedroom, Harry took in the beauty of his new home. Then he turned and took in the beauty of his new slave: Nymphadora Tonks was still out cold from there activity last night, resting peacefully with her milky white flesh exposed.

Harry smiled at the prone body of the young Auror: Soon, she would find out that she was permanently bonded to a one night stand, but for now she blissfully slept on. Unable to bring himself to wake her up, Harry got dressed and went downstairs.

Walking into the Manors kitchen, Harry found Ron already dressed and sipping a cup of coffee at the table. "Your up?" Harry asked in surprise. Harry, knowing that last night had likely been Ron's first time, had expected his friend to need even more sleep than he normally did. Ron just shrugged and pointed to the servants quarters.

Harry walked over and looked in: Diana was out cold, splayed over the bed and completely in the nude. She snored loudly and Harry saw a small bit of droll dripping from her lips. Well, at least he hoped it was drool. Ignoring the beautiful woman's ass, raised in the air by her awkward position, and walked back to the kitchen.

His questioning look was only answered by a shrug. "Apparently the high and mighty amazonian warrior can't go more than forty rounds". Harry was about to point out that this was perfectly normal, when he was distracted by a new arrival. Yawning widely, a still groggy Tonks entered the kitchen, dressed loosely in a bath robe.

"Wotcher Harry". "Good morning Tonks" Harry replied before turning to Ron. "If you please sir Ronald, could you exit the presence of the Kitchen so that me and my lady might discuss in private our private matters?". Ron shrugged. "Sure dude". Once the ginger had left the room, Harry turned to Tonks.

"Okay Harry, what do you want?". The young Lord Potter took a deep breath before replying "Tonks...cum". This was meet with a very blank stare. "Excuse m..." Tonks confused response turned into a shuttering moan of pleasure as her legs gave way and she fell to the floor.

Once she had recovered from the surprised orgasm, a still gasping Tonks looked up at Harry in confusion.


End file.
